I am going to make it all the way

I am so thankful I have made it this far, and I think it is safe to say that I am going to make it to the 12 month mark with no formula! I am not taking pride in this, formula certainly isn't a "bad" choice but I love nursing and didn't want the fact that I have to work to keep me from doing what I wanted. Also, I wanted there to be SOMETHING that only I could do. He spends most of his day with his childcare provider, and she gets to snuggle him, play with him, read to him, comfort him, etc. and I wanted something that would help me feel emotionally connected with him and keep our bond strong. I am so grateful that I was able to nurse as long as I have, I know that it just isn't feasible for lots of women that really want to nurse and I am very, very thankful! The road has certainly had some bumps at times, I remember breaking down and weeping at the 5 month mark when I thought I was losing my milk supply, and I remember almost weekly freakouts when I would have a bad time pumping at the beginning and I would imagine that it was going to have a negative impact on my supply. Just a couple of months ago I felt like there was no way I could stand to keep pumping and was doing the math to see if I could do half formula and half breastmilk and make it to the 12 month mark with the amount of milk I had frozen. But here I am, just a couple of weeks away from the magic milestone and still pumping twice a day and totally fine with it. You really don't know what you can do until you are in the moment. Just the other day I was talking to my husband about how much the baby loves to nurse and I caught myself saying "he loves it so much, maybe I will keep pumping for a little while past his first birthday so that he can keep nursing" HA! I better not be blogging this time next year about how I am STILL pumping for my almost 2 yr old :) I can see us working on weaning in a couple of months, but I am not stressing about it right now. I hope that things will change, and that with the next baby I will be able to really nurse him or her and only pump for the occasional break but if I am still working full time I know that I could do this again.